If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
