spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
