I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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