do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
