"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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