i will never coherently bang her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just found a bag of teeth...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
