I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
