I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize