"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
