do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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