So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
