Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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