just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
