is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
