Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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