thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You need a sexual gate keeper
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
