random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
