spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
