Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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