I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
