happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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