The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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