The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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