It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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