Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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