I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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