I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
