Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
