I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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