i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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