so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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