Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
