Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
