i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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