how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize