Your mouth is God's brothel.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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