He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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