sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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