when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
operation have a gay friend backfired
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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