yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
