Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
