hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
honey bunches of taint.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize