google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
