even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
