Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
