how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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