Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
