how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize