There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
