Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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