it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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