I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
