Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
