Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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