U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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