can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
