I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
