FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize