make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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