I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
