just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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