Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
