Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
