oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
