But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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