new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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