Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
