his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
