Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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