:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
